I don’t tell people what I’m mixed with anymore because, really, it’s nobody’s business. Sometimes people will argue with me when I tell them; they’ll say something like “oh, are you sure? Because you don’t really look xxxxx.”
They other day a woman asked me and I replied “whatever you think, that’s all that matters, right?”
She muttered something about her being curious and me being rude to which I hissed back “not as rude as your nosiness!”
And maybe it was rude, I honestly didn’t care.
Last weekend I went to a halloween party. There was a cis white gay dude who kept telling me I was pretty and feeling me up, saying “it’s cool I’m gay” and making graphic sexual comments to me about what he would do the male guests.
Later I found out he had assumed I was a lesbian (happens often, I don’t sweat it) and idk, for some reason that would justify his behavior? I still don’t understand it but I was very uncomfortable and had to ask him to stop touching me more than once.
We were standing in the middle of a crowded kitchen when he drunkenly started repeating to me “Straight people suck. Fuck straight people. Am I right?”
Over and over again trying to get a response from me for the entertainment of the group of strangers around me… while rubbing my lower back and touching. my. ass! Just, FUCKING YUCK.
I was mortified and embarrassed; it’s my choice how I identify publicly- gender, sexuality, ethnic identity- these are my choices to make; my stories to share, or my secrets to keep.
I’m so sick of strangers asserting themselves into my business. I’m so sick of identity / ethnicity / sexuality / gender sleuths looking to crack my case wide open and solve the mysteries of my identity.
Who I am is not a mystery to me, and I don’t owe anyone any explanations.
I’m just a woman living my life while trying my best to respect others, and I won’t settle for anything less than exact reciprocity.